March 29, 2010

Off Topic: Lost - my theory

Nothing to do with HD, but after following Lost for almost six years I've finally come up with my own theory on the programme. Here goes...


Why Lost is actually about Manchester United

• Ferguson is Jacob (hence his hatred of the man in black, who may appear different each week but is the same Jacob-nemesis deep down regardless of appearance)
• Which of course means Jacob is actually the true (Red) Devil
• It’s not about time travel but about extra time travel, and the island exists only where time has been stretched beyond natural boundaries…so the island, in fact, is Old Trafford
• The story line that has gone quiet and everyone’s forgotten about? The Djemba Djemba Initiative…
• Richard, he lives forever, appears to wear eyeliner and is unnaturally hirsute…that would be Mr Giggs, surely
• The oddball Scot who nobody really rates - "Desmond" Fletcher
• The man from the East who barely speaks English - "Jin" Park
• The redhead we all thought was dead but reappears every now and again – Scholes
• The bald bloke who insists everything's fine … Sir Bobby "Locke" Charlton
• Everyone hates him, he's rarely seen but is really running the show… "Whitmore" Glazier

And the Others…

• The character who everyone (including himself) thought was going to be the mastermind but turns out to be an inadequate puppet as greater forces take control – Ben(itez)
• The mad French person who sees things no-one else does, talks nonsense, and may (or may not) be dead – Wenger
• The mysterious big bear that nobody talks about but has still to be explained – Ancelotti
• The crazy professor who eventually fails and dies – Martin O’Neill
• The pilot who keeps crashing to earth - Mancini


I’m sure there’s more but I’m busy … honest ...

6 comments:

lee said...

Really think you need another blog for this sorta stuff dude...

Nialli said...

Every now and again I veer off topic. Normal service will resume now...

Erich said...

Heh, not sure the theory quite holds up, but I think most Lost fans can be forgiven for losing the plot a little, as we edge closer and closer to the inevitable disappointment of the end. :)

Afront said...

hhehehe brilliant!

And of course the alternate reality side plot is surely set on Newton Heath...

Martin said...

I've given up on it. Two faulty V+ boxes in two weeks means I've lost three episodes. Is there a Sky catch-up, or shall I wait for the re-runs once we get Sky 1 HD?

There, twisted back to on topic. Relevant as the day is long. And oh, the days are so long.....

BikeNutt said...

Very Good Nialli!

I don't know why I've stuck with LOST all this time. Actually, I do - having invested so many hours of my life being confused, I may as well go the whole hog and be completely befuddled at the end!